Five reasons to let go of hurt

The following is an adapted article by Rick Warren:

All of us have been hurt - by what people have said about us, thought about us, or done to us. Many of us carry deep wounds from hurts in the past - whether from a parent, a partner, a peer, or someone else. Someone in our life wounded us deeply.

If you haven't let go of those hurts, you need to. If you and your [group] really want God's best, you're going to have to let those hurts go. How? There's only one antidote to painful memories - forgiveness. Nothing else can set you free from the past.

[When we don’t deal with hurt, we become] people who are dying inside because of resentment. [We'll] never move forward spiritually. [We'll] never find [our] place in ministry. [We’ll] never find the unique mission God has for [us] in life because [we’re] letting resentment eat [us] up inside.
 
So why should we forgive? Let me give you five reasons.

1. God has forgiven you.

You will never have to forgive anyone more than God has already forgiven you. God forgives completely, unconditionally, and constantly. The Bible says this in Ephesians 4:32 (NLT), “Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”

You know why you have a hard time forgiving other people? You don't feel forgiven yourself. When you don't feel forgiven, you don't feel like forgiving. When you don't feel God's grace, you don't feel like being gracious to anyone else.

Once you understand how completely God has forgiven you, you're going to be a lot more forgiving of other people. If you want to help your people begin to release the hurts they're hanging onto, you've got to help them receive God's grace.

2. Resentment causes pain.

Resentment is always self-destructive. It always hurts you more than it does the person you're resenting. Pastor, help your congregation understand that resentment won't work. Job showed us that. He lost everything in a single day. Terrorists came in, killed all his kids, stole all of his cattle, ruined his crops, and he got a terrible disease. Everything went wrong. If anyone had a right to be bitter about the circumstances of life, Job did. But he didn't get resentful. He knew that resentment doesn't work.
  
Job said, “To worry yourself to death with resentment would be a foolish, senseless thing to do” (5:2 GN).
   
Resenting a person is like taking a shotgun, pointing it at yourself, pulling the trigger, and hoping to hurt your enemy with the kick of the recoil. 

3. Resentment can continue your pain for years. 

When you rehearse the pain someone has caused you in the past, you allow them to continue to hurt you over and over again. Some of you are allowing people who've hurt you deeply in the past to continue to hurt you in the present. That's stupid. They can't hurt you any more. Your past is past. They cannot hurt you unless you allow them to by resenting them. 
  
The Bible also says in the book of Job, “Some men stay healthy until the day they die... others have no happiness at all; they live and they die with bitter hearts” (21: 23-25 GN).

4. Resentment is unhealthy.

Research has shown that the most unhealthy emotion known to human beings is bitterness. God didn't not make our bodies to carry guilt or resentment. If you don't talk it out with God, you're going to take it out on your body. When you swallow your anger, your stomach, your back, and your neck keep score.
 
Many of the people in our churches are really careful about eating healthy and getting plenty of exercise. But if won't matter a bit if they don't get rid of the resentment. In the end, it's not what you eat that matters as much as what eats you.

5. You will need more forgiveness in the future.

Forgiveness is a two-way street. Jesus said in Matthew 6:14-15 (NIV), “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” He says we cannot expect to receive what we are unwilling to give. God says you cut other people some slack, and God will cut you some slack. 
 
When you pray in the Lord's Prayer, “Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.” Do you realize what you're saying when you pray that prayer? You're saying, “God, I want you to forgive me as much as I forgive everybody else.” Wow! Do you really want to pray that prayer? That's the standard God sets. 
 
It's a tough standard. But it's God's standard.