Conflict generally happens anytime you put two people
together. That’s just the way it
is. Conflict is a natural part of
life…it is what makes life interesting!
Working together as a team to accomplish what God has called you to do
pretty much guarantees conflict.
Conflict is not good or bad – it is neutral. It is how we handle it that makes it feel
good or bad.
One way that conflict can grow on a team is when each
person is more concerned about their own interests than in another person’s
interests and so there is a completion of interests. When I am determined that my way is done, or
my suggestion taken or my idea considered, and when other people on the team
are equally determined to have their ideas implemented is when conflict becomes
ugly.
The Philippian church was encountering conflict. It must have not been anything major as the
tone of Paul’s writing in the Letter to the Philippians indicates mild concern
rather than serious correction. He
wanted to remind the Philippians of how to respond to the conflict between them
in a manner glorifying to the Lord. In fact
he reminds them that Jesus is the supreme model for not allowing conflict to
come in the way of our effectiveness in working together as a team.
In Phil.2:1-4 we see that the core of their conflict was
probably the desire of the Philippians to protect the things that concerned
them. Paul appeals to the model of Jesus
in Phil.2:1. He wanted them to be
devoted to seeking the good of others first.
He reminds them that they have no personal rights (the right to be
considered first, the right to make all the decisions, the right to determine
what the group will do, the right to be right…).
Ultimately we are united by God’s mission – having the same
commitment to unity and harmony as we work together in pursuing the mission of
taking the gospel to the world (Phil.1:27).
Staying united in purpose is a choice, a daily choice. We must choose to have the right attitude
toward one another.
Attitude is key! Our
attitude toward one another and toward ourselves is a main ingredient in how
serious the conflict could become.
1-How unity is broken:
Unity is lost when we allow factions or divisions to arise (Phil.2:3). The image behind the Greek word for factions
is that of a political election: when a
politician runs for office, he tries to build a following for himself by
building himself up and putting down his opponents. We can easily do this as believers when we
try to rally others to take our side when there is a disagreement.
Another destroyer of
unity is pride in self. It is the
inclination to make yourself look good and in turn make others look bad. It is similar to the description above, but
the difference is that the first killer of unity is when you try to influence
others to support you and your idea or agenda.
Pride is when you assume that what you think is the best idea or that
you alone know the best course to follow.
2-How to stay unified:
The way to maintain unity is
through two of the hardest character traits to have: humility and unselfishness. This is why Paul reminds us of these traits
of Jesus at the beginning and the end of this section. Pride and putting others down comes naturally
to us; humility and unselfishness are not natural to man nature. Yet Paul calls us to humility and to be
unselfish. “Stop looking out for
yourself; it doesn’t matter what you want, think, prefer. What matters is our unity for the sake of the
gospel.”
Humility calls us to
count others as better than ourselves – to be so interested in the welfare
of others that you forget about thinking about yourself. It’s the idea of loosing yourself in the
service of others. Consider how Jesus
laid aside His right and made Himself lower than God for our sakes.
Unselfishness is
when we don’t care who gets the credit or whose idea is chosen or who is asked
to be in charge. The fact that Jesus
became a man who was unjustly condemned and crucified for our sakes is a
reminder of how we should conduct ourselves toward others. The problem is not that we think too lowly of
others, it generally is that we think too highly of ourselves.
Allow your ideas to take last place; look out for the interests
of others and take no thought for your own interests. Jesus was ultimately lifted up and glorified
by the Father. The beautiful thing is
that if I am looking after the interests of my teammates, and if they are
looking after the interests of others on the team, then I have a whole team of
people looking after my interests – so I don’t need to be looking after my own
interests at all – they are covered!
Response
1. Self Reflection: Each time you find yourself in a situation
where there is conflict as you work together as a team, ask yourself:
·
Am I oriented toward myself or toward love of
others?
·
Am I being selfish and conceited or am I
responding with humility?
·
Am I putting the interests of others above my
own?
2.
Confess
your sin.
3. Walk in the power of the Holy Spirit
who will enable you to respond as Christ would respond.
4. Defer to one another. Don’t be about making sure you put yourself
first.
In any group or team there will be disagreements (and there
will be people who will refuse to pursue unity). However, where there is the same love, there
will be broad tolerance and mutual consideration. Keep in mind the supreme example of God’s
great love and unselfish consideration of others. Seek to be like Jesus in your interactions
with your teammates.
Next week: Practical Tips on
what to do when you experience conflict on your team.
